'Its a process, it takes time, be patient" yap yap yappdy yap yap! I've heard it all before, why can't I just skip this and be the pretty delicate flower that everybody loves. As a full blossomed flower, everybody looks at you with envy, they want to own you. People never want to miss the chance to own something showy to reflect their true characters but in doing so they still want something that will remain graceful in its showiness. And a flower is but the perfect little thing to do just that. When will I get there, as a flower I will belong to somebody. Somebody will tend to me, look at me with pleased eyes as I will be a reflection of their hard work. The work of their very hands. As a flower; my owner will look at me and say "MY flower sure is beautiful!". I know what that will feel like. Not only will I feel wanted but I know for sure that I will feel safe and I will have a sense of belonging.
Oh there I go again. I'm doing it again. What right do I have fantasising about being something so wonderful. I'm just a bud. I could never carry all those petals with as much grace as the others do. Oh I wish I had enough strength in my stem to twirl around in gentle breezes and not fall apart at the feeling of a whiff. Oh how I wish.
I wasn't talking crazy when I said I know what its like to be a flower yet right now at this moment I'm a bud. That's because I've been a flower before. A beautiful one at that. A wild flower, I grew in the wilderness where nobody specifically tended to my needs, but still I was the prettiest flower you could ever come across. All sorts of birds hung around me and the bees loved my nectar. One would think that being the most sought after flower by nature; I would be left to grow and just BE. Thats what i wish would've happened, but sadly not. The beautiful ones are not left to be for long; and as nature would have it I was cut of from the ground and moved to a place where I would be watched closely. That's when I lost my beauty, started to wither and eventually died.
I lost all sense of the beauty that I am when you moved me from my natural habitat, I snapped. Yes, my stem was snapped from the fertile ground that gave me all that I needed. My mind snapped, lost all sanity and am now in state of limbo between what's real and what's not. You should've never removed me from my place of comfort. You should've never introduced me to another kind of living. Great as it may be but its the cause of all this. I was a flower; died, came back to life and now I'm trying to be a flower again. Its going to be a long road to get back to my original state of mind but I'm going to be patient with myself, just as God has been patient with me. Not many understand me, just 1 or 2 and I'm grateful for them. I've been a flower before and I plan on getting there again. A fun , fearless and beautiful flower.
I lost all sense of the beauty that I am when you moved me from my natural habitat, I snapped. Yes, my stem was snapped from the fertile ground that gave me all that I needed. My mind snapped, lost all sanity and am now in state of limbo between what's real and what's not. You should've never removed me from my place of comfort. You should've never introduced me to another kind of living. Great as it may be but its the cause of all this. I was a flower; died, came back to life and now I'm trying to be a flower again. Its going to be a long road to get back to my original state of mind but I'm going to be patient with myself, just as God has been patient with me. Not many understand me, just 1 or 2 and I'm grateful for them. I've been a flower before and I plan on getting there again. A fun , fearless and beautiful flower.
